Treat feedback like insider information
Once you depersonalize criticism in this way, you can start to see it for what it is: a rare glimpse into what outsiders think about your performance, and thus a potential opportunity to correct course and improve. Studies of student performance have shown that those who learn to use feedback actively tend to get better grades and have better study habits. If this doesn’t come easily to you, one way to develop the grit to do so is to ask friends or colleagues whom you like and trust to form a critics’ circle, reviewing one another’s work and giving honest suggestions. I did this early in my public-speaking career, assembling a trusted “murder board” to give me feedback on speeches. Because I had empowered them to criticize my performance, I found it didn’t hurt when they did. I got much better quickly and lost much of my fear of critics."
Brooks, Arthur C. "How to Take—And Give—Criticism Well." The Atlantic, 14 June 2024, https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/06/criticism-happiness-wellbeing-defensiveness/678647/
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